Failure is only real if you accept it. 

You can feel like you’re failing at many things, parenting, diets, martial arts, your career or relationships, but you only actually fail if you stop trying to succeed.

Why is it that when one area starts to feel difficult everything else unravels with it.

Tonight I feel like a failure I’ve not eat properly all week, I couldn’t get the drills tonight at training and I shouted at my kids because of my own bad mood. I feel like I’m trying to build something that doesn’t really get anywhere, I’m lacking direction in general.

I don’t know if I’m writing this advice for you or for myself but I hope one of us hears it.



Remembering to be grateful grounds me, it brings me back from my state of despair and panic. It’s impossible to feel sorry for yourself when you are being thankful for all that you do have, shifting the focus from what you don’t have. Sometimes we set our goals so high we forget to look around us and see the beauty that is there right now. Remembering that the path and the journey is part of what makes those goals worth achieving.


If everything was easy what would be the point, if someone could hand me a black belt right now would I feel like I’d earned it. Everything that has ever made me proud has come as a result of struggle and strength. My relationship, my family, my home. I worked for it all, blood, sweat and tears. The challenge is part of the road to success, it has to be hard to feel the reward.

Positive Self Talk

The majority of negative feelings come from your own negative self talk, a seed is planted that you’re not good enough or not achieving and you set to work convincing yourself of it, chastising yourself. Changing the way you speak to yourself, giving yourself a pep talk can make an incredible difference. Sometimes all we need is someone to say come on you can do this, why not let that person be you.

Rest and Recover

The overwhelming feeling of failure can actually just be a result of burning out. If you’ve been working tirelessly at something putting in the effort and time but not yet seeing the results you can become exhausted. It doesn’t have to be through physical activity it could be eating a perfectly clean diet or being the model parent, everything we do takes energy and when that runs out, when we can’t move forward we feel like giving up. If a loved one came to you in that burnt out state what would you do? Get them to put their feet up, feed them a good meal, run them a bath and put them to bed. Why don’t we treat ourselves with the same mindset.

They say failure is not an option, I think failure is completely optional but hopefully you choose success. Take on board some of the tips above, take a step back and do something you love. Then choose to get straight back to it and achieve your goals. You haven’t failed unless you’ve quit trying.



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